He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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