But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
