You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
