so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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