they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
