well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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