Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
