Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
