Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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