His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
