Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
