When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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