i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize