Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
