If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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