she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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