where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
