I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
