your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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