You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize