I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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