I wish I could teleport
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
