five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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