wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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