Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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