Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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