"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
