I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
