youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
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We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
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They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...