Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.