Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no