This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize