hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
