Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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