My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
