I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
