I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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