he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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