If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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