Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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