"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
