Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
