was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My dick has a subreddit
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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