Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
