For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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