then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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