No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just gift wrapped bread.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
