So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
