i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
