Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize