my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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