That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
