I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?