Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.