You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
