I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
