i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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