i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
