You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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