she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
