You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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