Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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