i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
