I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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