part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
